Helen and Art are fruit farmers in their mid-70s. Their daughter, Clara, recently moved back to northern Michigan, where she wants to build a home on the family farm and try rotational grazing. Art and Helen have never raised livestock for market, and they are unsure if their daughter can bring in profit, let alone pay the bills.

When this family walked into my office, tension was high. Despite the strain, I could feel their mutual respect and desire for harmony. Helen, Art and Clara wanted to come up with a plan that would keep their land in farming and in the family. Where to begin?

I'm a marriage, couple and family counselor with a passion for helping farmers and growers. I grew up in Leelanau County and have had the opportunity to work with individuals in the agricultural field both professionally and personally over the past 20 years. Some of the core questions I ask farmers are: How did you start farming? What are your biggest challenges? What motivates you to continue?

Individuals, couples and families come to me when they are experiencing conflict or feeling stuck. Counseling can help family members listen to one another and get clear on their values and direction. As they explore family history and sources of stress, families untangle misunderstandings and rediscover their strengths. In this way, counseling starts with a problem or stressor and moves toward potential and hope.

A stigma still surrounds counseling in many families -- but especially in the field of agriculture where self-reliance reigns supreme. The Farm Stress Program at Michigan State University is working to lessen this stigma and educate farmers, and others in the field of agriculture, about farmer well-being. I collaborate with Dr. Remington Rice, a MSU Extension Health and Farm Stress educator who spearheads these outreach efforts across Michigan, as well as Dr. Nikki Rothwell, the director of the Northwest Michigan Horticultural Research Center.

Families from a wide range of farming backgrounds can benefit from these programs. Whether grappling with crop logistics, familial discord, environmental uncertainties or succession planning, counseling offers a safe haven for farmers like Art, Helen and Clara to explore their emotions and chart a path toward equanimity and clarity.

In counseling, Helen and Art talked about their history and shared stories with their daughter, some of which Clara had never heard before. The couple described how their connection to the land shaped their values and influenced key decisions. Clara offered her perspective, experiencing ups and downs alongside her parents, as markets changed and weather was unpredictable. In counseling sessions, Clara asked difficult questions about inheritance and legacy, and Helen and Art responded with refreshing candor. We met regularly for six months, until the three family members came to a place of better understanding and outlined a plan for the next two years.

As he walked out of the office at the end of the last session, Art shook my hand. "Thank you," he said. "I was skeptical about this. But it helped. And Clara and I are talking and laughing together again."

This family's story is a fictional situation based on a blend of real-life scenarios.

For more information on couple and family counseling, please contact, [email protected]. For more information on the MSU Farm Stress Program, please contact [email protected] or visit extension.msu.edu/legacygrants.

Zane Schwaiger is a therapist in Leelanau County.